For the most part I don’t stress or worry too much and especially not over things I cannot change. But sometimes there are those things in life we just can’t help but worry about. I am beyond blessed. No doubt about it. I am thankful that God has given me my match with Brandon. He is my perfect balance and for that I am blessed. A lot of unexpected things have come our way since moving here in late August. But God has always come through. Even when I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel He still came through. It takes me back to my faith and how much I lack in it. Whether it has to do with finances, jobs, relationships, family, friends, or our own personal demons. I struggle everyday with whether God is gonna come through or not. And it’s ridiculous. I know that I can’t make rash decisions when it comes to the big things in life. But to think that I am not going to have my needs met is crazy. Sunday in church Dave talked about God’s provision. He doesn’t always give us what we want but he ALWAYS gives us what we need. I never lack or want for nothing. So why is it so hard for me to believe and trust? Because I am human and I screw up. And if I wasn’t then I wouldn’t have anything to cling too. Why would I need Jesus? I wouldn’t. So tonight as I lay on my cozy couch with my little space heater looking at my beautiful Christmas tree and enjoying what my life has given me, I know that I am a blessed mess and there’s nothing else I would rather be. I am grateful that God gives me a lot of chances to come back to him and cling to him. It’s comforting to know that I am safe in his arms no matter the circumstance.