I’m A Mess

 I’m gonna be pretty honest- I am a complete mess. I act like I am strong and have it all together most days, but deep down I am falling apart most of the time. I am not this great, awesome, have it all together girl. I really wish I was. I really wish I wasn’t so fickle and inconsistent. I wish I could control more of my emotions and my feelings then what I do. I really wish some days I could get a hold of myself and stop the madness. But, I can’t. I spend my days running. Running from my problems. Running from what God has called me too. Second guessing every decision I make bc what if, just what if, it’s not the right decision? I fight with myself everyday. Wondering if the decisions I make are the best choices for me. I am so hard on myself and really have a tough time showing myself grace. I wonder why I make things so complicated and why I can’t just settle down? But that’s not me. It never has been. Will it ever be? I crave so much to be normal sometimes but what really is normal? LOL Oh, man I am a mess. See I told you. Most days I feel ok with who I am and then other days I get really pissed about it. I know I don’t have to live by anyone else’s standards and I only need the approval of Jesus but it gets tough. I am always going to disappoint someone and that just kills me. It always has. I’m not really sure the point of my blog tonight. I just really needed to vent and get this out. Please pray for me. It’s a daily battle I have with myself and one day I hope to overcome it. I hope I can either settle down or embrace the fact that I never will settle down. I pray that I can let go of what others think of me and run after Jesus fearlessly. It doesn’t always make sense to do that. Just when I think I have it all figured out this happens. Is it me? Am I crazy? Or is it Jesus asking me to step out in faith once again? I have NO clue. But I never want to stop running after Him bc He is the only constant in my life and that will never change. He will love me no matter how crazy I get. Thanks for listening tonight guys. And remember it’s ok to be a little crazy every now and then. Life would be way to boring without the craziness.

Sweet dreams.

xoxo,

Travelin’ Tiffany

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Amelia McQueeney says:

    Girl, settle down and realize what you are experiencing is called “life” and everyone is experiencing the same thing. You are neither crazy nor unique; just normal. Quit second guessing yourself and embrace yourself, flaws and all. The flaws are what make us!!!! If people are judging you, then shame on them ; if you are judging you, then shame on you. ENJOY every day God gives you, filled with doubt and flaws because that is who we are!!! The full sermon is available this weekend when I pick you up<3

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