I have always wanted to open my own salon and many things have kept me from doing so. Fear of failure, commitment, finances, self doubt. But lately, my passion to open a place has started to overtake me. I find myself planning and dreaming and wishing I had it. I know it’s hard work. Nothing worth anything is ever easy. Last night I had a simple dream but a big dream to me. For those of you that know me, you know that I HATE to dream. As in when I am asleep dreaming. I’m a dreamer by nature but that’s not what I am referring too. It was my mom and I in my new salon space. I was getting mom’s opinion on where things should be. It didn’t last long but it was so real. I woke up excited! I am currently reading a book my little sister got me for Christmas called, “Gifts of Imperfection.” Today’s chapter was “Cultivating Self-Compassion- Letting Go of Perfectionism.” Of course this would be the chapter God gives me today. Something that really hit me in the chapter was this,
“Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis. Life-paralysis refers to all the opportunities we miss because we’re too afraid to put anything out in the world that could be imperfect. It’s also all of the dreams that we don’t follow because of our deep fear of failing, making mistakes, and disappointing others. It’s terrifying to risk when you’re a perfectionist; your self-worth is on the line.”
After reading that, it hit me! I have known for awhile that I am a perfectionist, but I never realized what that did to me. It makes total sense now. When I look back over my life and I see and remember the dreams and thoughts I have had, I see myself running. And let’s be honest, sometimes it’s a whole lot easier to run then it is to face all the craziness your new adventure may bring. Fear has paralyzed me. I’m thankful that I am seeing this now at 31 rather then when I am twice my age.
I know that God has big plans for me and I have always known that. Sometimes I just take the long way to get there. I am so thankful to be learning and growing and hearing the Lord speak to me. He has shown me so much about myself, my life, those around me, and what’s ahead. I am blessed. I hope that I never take for granted His love and mercy and grace on my life. He is my strength.
Don’t let fear paralyze you. Don’t let perfectionism take over your life. Follow your dreams and never look back. Who cares if you fail? God has something great in all of that. He wants to use you and you don’t want to miss out on that because of fear. That would be the tragedy in it all.
Following my dreams…
Excerpt from “The Gifts of Imperfection” Brene Brown