My Proudest Accomplishment
When I first read what I was supposed to blog about today not very much came to mind. Maybe graduating hair school, or traveling abroad alone into the unknown, maybe it was moving to Savannah and getting my career off the ground. But then it hit me. To me my greatest accomplishment has been learning to be alone. I am independent by nature. Mom reminds me all the time how I used to occupy myself for hours on my own while Kayla was hanging on her leg constantly. As I have gotten older I have always felt the need to have someone there. I have hopped from one relationship to another and never been much for commitment. After my divorce 8 years ago I have been scared to death to commit long term. I’ve met some amazing men and I am thankful they put up with me and my craziness. I have broke one too many hearts and never looked back. Until this year… I had been engaged 2 years ago to a great guy. But we had too many difference that I am glad we realized before walking down the aisle. But, I jumped right into another relationship with someone who I thought would just be a fling. But, it became more. I fell madly in love with him. He taught me so much about being unconditional and how everything starts with “me.” But, he broke my heart about 6 months ago. I then felt what I had done to all those before me. I had really hurt some people. And I am sorry for that. I have spent the last 6 months learning to be on my own again. Forgiving him, forgiving myself, and moving forward. Alone. Although I know I am not completely by myself I have begun to learn that it’s ok to be alone with just me. Some days are hard. Some days I wish someone else was there. Some days I want to hold hands, hug, kiss, make dinner, go on a date, travel with “him”, wake up next to someone, and feel love. But, I was telling my girlfriend today, as much as I want all of those things, I want what’s RIGHT more then anything. And I know rushing into a relationship is NOT the answer. I know when the time is right it will come. It could be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, or 5 years. Maybe never. But, I know that I am gonna be ok. And I am proud of the place I am in right now. So that’s my proudest accomplishment. Learning to be alone with me. It’s been life changing and eye opening and God is so good.
What’s your accomplishment?