Leaving Behind

Philippians 3:13 spoke to me today…

“…forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.”

You’ve heard me say before that the last 10 years of my life have had it’s up’s and down’s. Many things were my fault and I take full responsibility for them. I’ve been young, dumb, naive, immature, and honestly just didn’t give a crap a lot of times. But then what has happened is these things tend to creep back in my life. Emotions that have haven’t been dealt with, words that I should have spoken, words I shouldn’t have spoken, tears left uncried, too many tears lost, and so on. 

But, today is a new day. And I am thankful that his mercies are new every morning, and I am blessed by grace. Tears sting my eyes as I type that word. Grace. As “hard” as life may have been or will continue to be, I still come out on top every time. Maybe a little dirty, worn out, and tired. But I’m on top. Where would I be without grace? Scary thought to ponder. I wouldn’t change ONE thing about my past. Sure, sometimes I wonder “what if” like everyone does at some point. But, without my parents divorce, without my grandfather’s alcoholism, without my grandparents divorce, without my 2 grandmothers passing away 5 days apart, without my dad’s cancer, without my divorce, without moving away from my friends and family, without that broken heart, without all those struggles, I would NOT be who I am today. I wouldn’t have needed God. I wouldn’t have begged God to heal me, to change me, to show me the next step. I wouldn’t be helping others who are facing similar things or maybe even worse, which I count  a blessing and an honor to do everyday. 

I was shown grace many times throughout these struggles and in turn have been able to show grace to those around me. And when I read Philippians I am reminded that my past has brought me to my present which will in turn lead me to my future. As I let go of the things that have held me back or down today, I think of the next chapter in my life. I think of where I have been, which has been amazing even in the hard times, and I think to myself, the BEST is yet to come. I have had some absolutely amazing opportunities and experiences in my short ALMOST 31 years. And I can’t wait for the next 30! There is so  much to see and do and experience and I refuse to sit back and let life pass me by. 

So, will you join me? Letting go of the past and looking toward the future?

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